Eric The Family Guy

This is the story of the "Gaudy Christmas Ornament"

2008-12-11T14:31:00.001-08:00

I was around 10 when my boyscout troop made Christmas ornaments. I don't need to explain the process as it is obvious from the picture coming. So, I wrapped up my beautify and facinating creation for my mother and put it under the tree for a Christmas present. Sure enough, mother loved it, or so she said. It took a place of honor at the front of the tree that year even though the honor was to be revealed as tainted.

Several years later, we were putting ornaments on the tree. Mom pulled out my ornament, and in a very sour tone says, "this thing is so gaudy". So, lets just point out the the boxes are full of homemade gaudy ornaments, however it is that one that is singled out and given the obviously dubious honor of being "the" gaudy ornament of the decade.

I responded, "mom, I made that for you and gave it to you for Christmas a few years ago.". Her response was, "I mean gaudy as in pretty; very colorful".

Now, my mom doesn't lie, but this is the one "white" lie (no pun intended) I recall her telling me. Of course there are always those white lies to protect your kids fragile egos, but hey, the darn thing IS gaudy, why call a piece of trash a gem?

For the record, dictionary.com has gaudy listed as:

gaud·y1
–adjective, gaud·i·er, gaud·i·est.
1. brilliantly or excessively showy: gaudy plumage.
2. cheaply showy in a tasteless way; flashy.
3. ostentatiously ornamented; garish.

Lets also do garish just to complete the picture:

gar·ish
–adjective
1. crudely or tastelessly colorful, showy, or elaborate, as clothes or decoration.
2. excessively ornate or elaborate, as buildings or writings.
3. dressed in or ornamented with bright colors.
4. excessively bright; glaring.

Now, lets see the picture:

So, lets link the two together. It is cheaply showy in a tasteless way; flashy and ostentatiously ornamented; garish OR crudely or tastelessly colorful, showy, or elaborate, as clothes or decoration AND dressed in or ornamented with bright colors. This is truly the perfect description.

So, what is the conclusion? It is gaudy AND garish. It is also pretty ugly. I would never put that on my tree unless one of my sons made it for me. So, mom was simply being to nice to me. Unfortunately I was at an age where I was no longer easily fooled, and it has backfired on her.

Now, it is a family joke. Every year, that ornament magically appears at the FRONT of the tree! Why? Well, every year since that year I have in joking fun said, "hey, it is the gaudy ornament". For the first few years it was, "I mean pretty" but for at least the last 10 or so now there has been a complete denial of the discussion, however I know for sure she secretly knows it otherwise that ornament certainly would NOT be on the front of the tree, but take more of an inside spot on the back of the tree somewhere out of site. Wouldn't you? Or, a nice existance in the local trash dump is more appropriate.

Anyway, I get a pretty good kick out of her still defending herself to this day. It will be interesting to see how she responds to this post.

UFC Final (maybe)

2008-12-01T10:50:00.000-08:00

OK, so this is my (possibly) final posting on the UFC. After reading Mike's well written explanation of his position on this, I see his point. I have actually decided I agree with him to a point on some points as well.

1. I still do not agree with the comparison to boxing as UFC is many times more brutal and violent. That is like comparing a kissing scene in a PG movie to XXX.
2. I don't really agree with the "boys being boys" statement. Boys also tend to want to lie, cheat, steal, and a lot of other things like it by nature, and those things you would likely call sin. The tendancy for violence would be more towards the side of sin as this is the desire to hurt others, NOT the desire to defend yourself. I can live with you saying it is ok to defend yourself, but it is not ok to pick a fight. That is the same as saying it is ok to drink, but it is not ok to abuse alcohol. Also, I have never even as a kid had the desire to beat someones butt bloody, I have been so mad I wanted to hit someone, but that is different. I think this is a personality trait maybe?
3. Where as your statement about UFC being like video games and TV in promoting violence in kids is a good point, I will counter with the point that just because there are other examples of something bad doesn't excuse another. I don't fundamentally believe that we should have violent movies or video games at all. Since that is impossible in a world of sin, it is futile to even make such a statement. That does not excuse the UFC.

Next, your comments about taking the whole bible and not just parts are a bit misguided. If you can apply your logic this way, then I can also say it is ok to have a concubine since they did in the OT. Or I could say that I need to sacrifice a goat to forgive my sin. Christ did fundamentally change things. I believe to some degree this includes fighting and violent. With that said, there is not a whole lot of fighting in the NT now is there? It seems to be more along the lines of trying to bring your adversary to Christ instead of beating their brains out. Now there are a lot of examples of that. The OT was beat their brains out, but after Christ it was defend yourself only. I think this is were you are going wrong in your thinking, or at least it doesn't seem to be integrated in as it should with a Christian. Now, I am not stupid. If there is a baseball bat flying at my head I am not going to "take one for Jesus", but I shouldn't pick up a chair and throw it either (although I probably would).

What we see in the UFC is not defense in many cases (in some it is like some forms of wrestling and grapling). Defense is the prevention of damage to ones self. In the UFC you must also have Offense. This is NOT required to defend yourself in the real world. Defense would be putting someone in a hold or doing a pain pinch or something that does not do any harm to an individual. Beating their face until it is battered and torn is not defense. Put the lip-stick on that pig anyway you like, but it is still a pig. If it was truly defense, and not offense, it would really be pretty boring. The beating is what is selling the tickets. So, I believe your position breaks down here since I don't see how you can justify the total arse-whoopins that go on in this sport.

I believe I will have to leave this in the realm of a combination of "agree to disagree" and put this into the classification of alcohol where it is something that is not necessary, but OK in moderation, but it becomes very bad when abused.

So, lastly, I will accept the desire to defend yourself. I accept the competition (to some degree) points about comparing fighting styles. You make some other good points as well.

My last blah-blah-blah on the UCF

2008-11-18T12:11:00.000-08:00

I have had a miniature argument with Mike L about the UFC (Ultimate Fighting Championship). I say it is senseless violence and it only serves purposes of evil. Mike says it is good and seems to argue from the position of he is supposed to protect his family. I really don’t understand his position, so I would really need to let him explain it better.

However, I can sum up in a nutshell why it is bad-bad-bad. Other than all the other reasons, last night I had ESPN on waiting for a Purdue basketball game to start. There was one of those general sports shows that had a blurb about the UFC. They showed a scene of horrid violence of a man sitting on another man just laying into his face fist over fist. My son Ian happened to see that. What did he do? He walked up to his brother and started to do the exact same thing. Fortunately he was barely hitting him. I have never seen Ian mimic anything off of TV before. So, why this? Wow, to us non-fighting type people it seems to unbelievably obvious why this stuff is so bad. It wasn’t so bad when it was a pay-per-view, or a video rental. That way it wasn’t being put on a TV station where it should not be; i.e. somewhere that my son can’t see it. This is the primary reason I don’t like it is because of the influence on my kids even when I am told I can keep it away from them. The only way to do that is never watch TV, which maybe one day we will do.

The other main reason is the promotion of wanton violence on TV. If you want to learn to fight, by all means, go for it, just keep it off TV please. You see all the time now about kids doing this sort of stuff. Beating each other senseless, sometimes even causing death. There are dozens of posts a day on youtube about this. Kids don’t know any better. They don’t have the built in capacity to know what is right and wrong without being taught, so when they see that sort of thing, they mimic it and think it is ok.

I don’t see any point in it. What is the point of the UFC? It is very much the same as the porn industry. Except instead of peddling flesh, they are selling a product that is appealing to a males instinctive and primitive lust for blood. Much the same as males get such a rush out of hunting, or a sort of instinctual excitement over things like fire, accidents, police chases, etc. You can go on all day about protecting your family, and there is nothing wrong with that. But how does watching two grown men try and kill each other protect your family? I would wager that the violence it promotes in our society actually puts your family in more danger. The risk of your kids getting beat up is much greater. The risks of your kids getting into fights themselves are much higher.

Lastly I have seen it even argued that it is ok Biblically. So, fine, fighting is ok biblically. So is sex, but do you want sex on TV for our kids to see?

I am not a fighter. I have absolutely no interest in fighting. Frankly it sickens me, literally. I literally would get sick if ever force into a confrontation. Does that concern me? It used to. In high school, the whole concept of “I can beat you up” was actually important in the whole “cool” thing. However now that I am out of high-school, I see it more as just a chest beating exercise. Something for men to feel more macho than another. I don’t need to feel macho and never did. I think that really it is a fundamental difference between geeks and jocks. Geeks don’t have the athletic prowess to beat anyone up, and jocks are too dumb to rely on their brains to get them out of a situation. Sorry, that is a broad two ended generalization, and I know Mike L is a smart guy and actually probably some of both. But if I know I can outthink you, that gives me way more satisfaction and definitely is a MUCH larger benefit in this world. If you beat me up, you go to jail. If you out think me, you just end up having a better life in many ways. My way of feeling macho was to try and be smarter. Much the same way that people don’t like the guy that always runs around flexing his muscles, people don’t like the guy running around flexing his brain. I suppose in an apples to oranges comparison, it is fruit.

To end this, I simply do not see how fighting can ever be appealing to anyone in any way. If really thought I had to protect my family from harm, I would buy a gun. But you know what? I can’t be with them 24 hours a day. Also, whooping some butt doesn’t help any if somebody else has a gun. In the adult world, there aren’t people lurking around the corner ready to fight you like there was in high school. You really have to go looking hard for a fight. I used to watch my friend Chris who after a couple beers would both become extra friendly, but also a bit more easily offended to the point of offering a fight to just about anyone that came within 10 feet hinting at anything other than just being a nice person, sort of in the superman type roll, so it was always leaning towards fighting evil and protecting the innocent. In nature I don’t think it was the beer talking, but more the beer bringing out the superhero in him. I think he would side with Mike 100% on this, but maybe they are of the same personality type. Not sure why I am so against it. Maybe that is my personality type. Maybe it simply boils down to the fact that it makes them feel safer to simply have the knowledge that they can protect their family. Maybe that is a fundamental fear that they face? If there was some reason like that, I think it would be a much more understandable thing for me.

More incorrect assumptions

2008-11-17T10:34:00.000-08:00

It is utterly amazing how people can be so wrong (not just stupid). This "anonymous" brainiac is at it again with his usual garbage. Lets start with this one:

"Basically the message your anonymous poster is trying to conveye is that MANY conservative religious folks believe that God made everything within our environment for us to use, basically with no discretion or conservation at all. Yep, God will take care of all of us, we don't need to worry about energy resources or anything else. We pray, we have faith, etc, etc.....
Speaking of "hate" it seems that you've mentioned some anti democrat/libral comments before. Bud, it's just different opinions. It really doesn't have to mean "hate". Intellectual individuals can have differing ideas on how things are. I am just saying, scientific minds tend to test things rather than just base truths on "faith". But absolutely no hate intended to christians or republicans. One of the great things about this country is our freedom to have these different beliefs. AMEN"

First, lets just say that you grossly assume this thing about Christians not conserving. That is like saying all liberals want to take ALL money from anyone who has anything, and give it to anyone that has nothing. Lets distribute the wealth a little bit, or completely?

Ok, I am a Christian. Let's see how my family is wasting: Let's see, we completely recycle, I make my own compost out of all our food waste. My wife does 100% cloth diapering. She uses 100% washable butt-wipes on the kids. My house is sealed up like fort Knox to save energy. We have moved to using things like Vinegar to clean with instead of buying chemical cleaners. I thrown away zero yard waste. We are very conscious about concerning electricity. So, what are you doing to be more "green"? Does this make me a non-Christian?

Truth be told, the bulk of the people like your buddy Al Gore and all his Hollywood flunkies are the definitions of wasteful people. I would wager like then, you sit around and throw stones, but won't lift your own finger to help out. THAT is one good definition of a liberal among many like it. They all use a bleeding heart agenda that is purely to get votes. They would never actually practice what they preach.

I am quite sure it would be 100% provable that a VERY large majority of the people conserving are CONSERVATIVES.

Why idiots rule the world

2008-11-14T08:35:00.000-08:00

I have an "anonymous poster"! God forbid that you admit your identity as we know that would mean that we know who this idiot is! Let me quote this idiot to refresh you all:
“I think it was just meant to express his feelings about how ultra right wingers or I guess we can now call them the religious right, since religion seems to play such a great role in politics these days, believe there is no such thing as the greenhouse effect. I'm just sayin'...”
This was in response to my post about farts and blood pressure. Wow, I am so sad that self proclaimed scientists of the world are so freakin stupid. We are doomed for sure.
He also said (assuming it is a male, which is not necessarily true):

“What a utopia with only christians, right? None of those pesky folks with scientific minds that believe earthly resources are being consumed at an alarming rate.”

Ok, let us get to the facts here. First, what do we know about this person? Let’s analyze:
1. He hates “ultra-right-wingers” and anyone who disagrees with him is some evil plague to the world. Typical “ultra-left-winger” talk. It is sort of funny how there is such a large cult of haters out there. They want us to blindly accept their beliefs and put a huge filter on half of the truth out there, and what does that do? Turns you into an ultra-left-wing-liberal jaw flapping jerk whose sole purpose in life is to trying annoy people.
2. He is stupid. He says things like “the religious right doesn’t believe there is a greenhouse effect”. I don’t recall EVER hearing ANYONE say there is no greenhouse effect. There is CLEARLY a greenhouse effect! That would be like saying “there no idiots like you in the world”. What WE on the opposing side of this argument say is that there is NO PROOF that the greenhouse gases such as CO2 are the key and main ingredient in global warming. We believe in certain key elements in the universe that you dumbasses tend to deny, like the fact that we have a star in our solar system. No, it can’t be the sun effecting global warming! Now, with that said, once you people start to provide some proof of a correlation between greenhouse gases and global warming, and that it has nothing to do with sun cycles, or anything like that, then we will listen. We, as in “my group” want to consider ALL the facts, not just the ones that bolster your side of the argument. The end point being that we don’t want to shut the world down simply because you people want to.
3. We do need to worry about global warming, we should be looking at ways to curb greenhouse gases, but if you simply go and shut down all the power plants, factories, automobiles, and quit farting, all you are going to do is make China, who is already rapidly outdoing us in everything out do us or even do us in even quicker. They certainly aren’t going to stop polluting. If we stopped 100% of our GHGs we would only slow global warming by like 20%, which gives you a few more years before your beachfront condo is underwater. Just sell it now. That will only grow exponentially worse moving forward. Why don’t you move to China and do your worrying there were it is really needed?
4. You a scientific mind? Hahahahahah, that is some seriously funny stuff! What is your IQ little person, 90… 80…? Forest Gump would whoop you in a game of tic-tac-toe over and over and over. Second, you are a fool if you think no scientists are Christians. C.S Lewis, somebody infinitely more intelligent than yourself sought out to prove scientifically that Christianity was false, and what happened? He failed, and became a Christian. The truth is you know NOTHING about Christianity other than what you hear on the news, which in-case you didn’t know has a liberal bias, and thus a bias against Christianity. A true scientist would be truly unbiased in both global warming and Christianity. You are neither, which means you are an idiot.
5. We are consuming resources at an alarming rate. Who would argue that? Some may say “who cares, Christ will return soon”, and those people are also idiots. The problem is that it is you idiots doing most of the consuming! Read this, you idiot. You and your Hollywood loneybin friends are the worst violators of this! http://www.snopes.com/politics/bush/house.asp
6. Lastly, the Onion is VERY LIBERAL PAPER! It is for HUMOR! They wrote the Al Gore article, because it was FUNNY! Only you “scientific minded idiots” would turn this into a Christian thing. To sum it all up, lets refer to this cartoon:

It is so unbelievably hysterical to actually say that “liberals are smart or scientific”. The truth is exactly what this cartoon says, but the difference being that liberal politicians will say anything to get elected. Look at all the ridiculously unachievable promises that Obama made in this election! He is not a dumb guy, he knows this too, but will say it because he knows that the bulk of the populous is too dumb to know the difference, and YOU are proof of that! The other side of the coin is academic people. They live in an idealistic dream world that doesn’t work in reality. This has always and will always be true. I read this recently:

"One of the big debates over the past half-decade was whether China had reached a point in its economic development at which its internal economic gravity would allow it to "decouple" from the global economy. If so, it could continue along its fantastic growth trajectory, even as growth in the U.S. or Europe ceased or reversed. That may sound like gobbledygook, but it's important. The U.S. has a $20 billion monthly trade deficit with China. It's funded by China's willingness to hold U.S. treasuries in its Central Bank (essentially, we're borrowing the money). China manages the arrangement by pegging its currency (the yuan) to the dollar at an artificially low rate, and by not worrying so much about certain niceties like environmental regulation and labor protection."

This outlines the fundamental problem. Liberals want to do all this stuff to protect the world, which is idealistically great. But since China, who will very soon completely dwarf us economically doesn’t care about all that. So what happens? We become what China was, starving people with no jobs, and they prosper as we were before you liberals came along and screwed it up for everyone. Look at France. They are a perfect example of what you dorks cause. A government that gives money to everyone, and a lazy population that is not replenishing that money. It runs out eventually buddy. I am all in favor of helping the poor, but the way you want to do it isn’t going to work. Look at the USSR. Didn’t we learn anything there? Why don’t you move to France. They are perfect for you as you will fit right in with all the other low IQ liberals.

Again, too be clear, I am in favor of environmental protection, and labor protection. But what we see now is that our reaction to these things is starting to bury us. Instead of whining to me, go whine to China!

Some seriously fantastic humor from the Onion

2008-08-01T06:39:00.000-07:00

Al Gore Places Infant Son In Rocket To Escape Dying Planet

The Onion - July 30, 2008 | Issue 44•31

Young Gore sets out for his new home, where the sky is clear, the water is clean, and there are no Republicans.

Hybrids and Solar Kills Babies

2008-07-17T13:53:00.000-07:00

http://www.edn.com/index.asp?layout=blog&blog_id=1700000170&blog_post_id=450015045&?text=charger+test

This is some pretty funny stuff, but interestingly it is a rather good point. This guy has a good blog. I think I will link to it.

More on Global Warming

2008-06-27T10:55:00.000-07:00

This is primarily for Mike, since I seriously doubt anyone (other than Demel) that reads my blog cares about it. I found a post with some good links against GW.

http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,25197,23411799-7583,00.html

The summary of this one is that recent data from the Aqua satellite indicates that the effects of CO2 are not even close to effecting warming as that idiot Al Gore and his army of grunts says.

A good clip:

Duffy: "From what you're saying, it sounds like the implications of this could beconsiderable ..."

Marohasy: "That's right, very much so. The policy implications are enormous. The meteorological community at the moment is really just coming to terms with the output from this NASA Aqua satellite and (climate scientist) Roy Spencer's interpretation of them. His work is published, his work is accepted, but I think people are still in shock at this point."

If Marohasy is anywhere near right about the impending collapse of the global warming paradigm, life will suddenly become a whole lot more interesting.

A great many founts of authority, from the Royal Society to the UN, most heads of government along with countless captains of industry, learned professors, commentators and journalists will be profoundly embarrassed. Let us hope it is a prolonged and chastening experience.

With catastrophe off the agenda, for most people the fog of millennial gloom will lift, at least until attention turns to the prospect of the next ice age. Among the better educated, the sceptical cast of mind that is the basis of empiricism will once again be back in fashion. The delusion that by recycling and catching public transport we can help save the planet will quickly come to be seen for the childish nonsense it was all along.

The poorest Indians and Chinese will be left in peace to work their way towards prosperity, without being badgered about the size of their carbon footprint, a concept that for most of us will soon be one with Nineveh and Tyre, clean forgotten in six months.

The scores of town planners in Australia building empires out of regulating what can and can't be built on low-lying shorelines will have to come to terms with the fact inundation no longer impends and find something more plausible to do. The same is true of the bureaucrats planning to accommodate "climate refugees".

Penny Wong's climate mega-portfolio will suddenly be as ephemeral as the ministries for the year 2000 that state governments used to entrust to junior ministers. Malcolm Turnbull will have to reinvent himself at vast speed as a climate change sceptic and the Prime Minister will have to kiss goodbye what he likes to call the great moral issue and policy challenge of our times.

It will all be vastly entertaining to watch.

http://www.energytribune.com/articles.cfm?aid=828

This one is more of a good stab at GW with fire. Partially backed with facts, but this is more of a reality check for the GW DS's.

http://canadafreepress.com/index.php/article/2352

This one is pretty good. I think it summarizes many known facts debunking Al Gores brain as being anything but silly-putty. this line sums it up.

The roughly 50 computer experts and scientists who form the core advisory group for the IPCC’s stance must have realized for several years now that the game was up. There is indeed copious evidence that climate is changing, as it always has; and that natural biological and physico-chemical systems - again as always - are changing in response. But as to human causation – the evidential cupboard is bare.

http://sciencepolicy.colorado.edu/prometheus/archives/climate_change/001320pachauri_on_recent_c.html

This guy is a middle man, but he quotes the "messiah" of the GW religeon (Al Gore is the prophet). This is one of the funniest things because this is EXACTLY the argument that the opposition has been saying for years, and he has been ignoring. That is so stinking ironic it is unbelievable.

Rajendra Pachauri, the head of the U.N. Panel that shared the 2007 Nobel Peace Prize with former U.S. Vice President Al Gore, said he would look into the apparent temperature plateau so far this century.

"One would really have to see on the basis of some analysis what this really represents," he told Reuters, adding "are there natural factors compensating?" for increases in greenhouse gases from human activities.

He added that sceptics about a human role in climate change delighted in hints that temperatures might not be rising. "There are some people who would want to find every single excuse to say that this is all hogwash," he said.

http://www.fel.duke.edu/~scafetta/pdf/opinion0308.pdf

I like this quote:

The IPCC report1 concludes
that the contribution of solar
variability to global warming is negligible,
to a certainty of 95%. It is reported
that the “majority” believes the average
warming observed since the beginning
of the industrial era is due to the increase
in anthropogenic greenhouse gas
concentrations in the atmosphere.

Ok, so... are you high? Are you retarded? Are you a complete fool? What?!? The sun has no impact on warming of the earth? OH....MY....GOLLLLY! That is like me saying that the atomic bomb dropped on Nagasaki had no impact on the deaths from that day through the next several decades, with a 95% certainty, and it was from natural causes.

The point of the article is to show what data is NOT taken into account by the Al Gores of the world. The truth is that Al Gore is WAY too stupid to understand this stuff.

http://heartland.temp.siteexecutive.com/pdf/22835.pdf

I have yet to finish this as I post, but hey, how can you ignore this stuff?

So, ok Mike, stuff this one down your "Al Gore wannabe" friend's throat. If he bites, then he is an infected zombie of this cult movement.

Oh, and if you can't tell, I have pretty much now ruled out GW as being anything be fraud.

I cannot deny that CO2 gases are up, HOWEVER, is it not true that during the reign of the dinos that levels were 10x or so what they are today? The earth did just fine then. There was enough plant life to support way more creatures, and way larger creatures than there is today, so with the population of the planet WAY out of control, BRING IT ON!

Other than CO2, which apparently isn't having an effect, they are just a bunch of pot smokers looking for something to do.

Dear Secret Admirer

2008-06-24T10:13:00.002-07:00

secret admirer said...: Where are the pictures. I wanted to see you cooking up some yummy placenta, with a side of links.

p.s you're hot. I like your cool aztec pants you wore on Katrina's blog. Did you just do a rain dance?
-end

I know I have a placenta of admirers out there. Where as I respect your odd whimsical taste in men... DEMEL... I think that it is theoretically possible that you are demented, or should I say demelted.

Dude, the "Aztec pants" (Aztec should be CAPITALIZED bub) are more cool than your entire stuffy-suity wardrobe combined, and not to mention more comfy. You are just jealous that you don't have a pair. I have boogers that are more cool than you.

The rain dance worked goober boy. We got around 10 inches in about 10 days. Not to mention that I produce enough methane to power a medium sized commercial building for a day thanks to the stress you cause me. At 99 cents a blow, you will make me RICH RICH RICH, so keep it up toad lover.

Pictures? The pictures you would want are not allowed on this website. Keep dreaming, or wait till you come to visit. I will give you pictures that with fulfill all your medieval fantasies, and give you nightmares for the rest of your life.

If we were barbecuing brains, yours wouldn't be enough to feed a small family of amoebas. I have boogers that are smarter than you.

(for those of you that don't know this, I love Demel, and this is all in fun)

Boy George Sucks

2008-06-24T09:48:00.000-07:00

Had to blog on this article:

Bad Karma? Boy George Banned in the USA

06/23/2008 8:00 AM, E! Online

Call it tit for tat: Fresh off of the U.K.'s denial of entry to Martha Stewart, the U.S. has banned Boy George from its shores.

Somehow, it doesn't quite feel like a fair trade.

The "Karma Chameleon" purveyor has been refused a visa for the U.S. leg of his summer tour, which was to include a special performance for his former colleagues at New York's Department of Sanitation, over complications arising from the singer's criminal past and pending his London trial this November.

-end

Ok, so... YEAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!! We should have done this back before his crappy songs made it on the air. That we none of use would have had to have been tortured by this utter garbage. Also, the poor suckers that were obviously under some spell that made them THINK that they liked it deserve to have the hours of their life they wasted listening to him and going to his concerts back. Of all the things that this country has done, such as liberate Europe (twice), or ban slavery, etc; THIS tops the list of its greatest achievements! If there is such a thing as Karma (and there isn't), then THIS IS IT! HAHAHAHA Sucker!

Bouncing Baby Brendan is Born

2008-03-17T12:38:00.000-07:00

Ok, so many have heard, but Brendan was a BIG HUGE MONSTER. His exit was pretty easy, but it the door frame broke. Yikes. 10lbs 2oz. 22in. Ok, so the whole thing was pretty good for me over all two. It was a bit gross at times, however I made it Ok. Anyone for some wine reduction sauce over roast placenta? Yum! How about some pan fried umbilical links?

He has slept very well! I really can't believe it. Katrina has to wake him up about every 3 hours to feed him most of the time. Pretty amazing. We all feel pretty well rested. Gramma graves was up and was very helpful through all this, especially taking care of Ian. I was also able to work quite a bit last week thanks to her. Since I needed about 20 days of vacation this year, but only have 15, I just bought back 3 days. Yea!

Global Warming... again

2008-03-17T12:20:00.000-07:00

I had to comment about Mike's "liberal friend's" comment. Ok, so lets analyze this bias thing. Stating that Al Gore's "mythical consensus" is not true is not true. Confused? Sure, I say that this is a fact. It is NOT true that there is a huge vast consensus among all the worlds scientists about global warming, in fact quite the contrary. I challenge anyone to find a published article that has "unbiased" polling of all related scientists, or anyone that has any relevancy to the field that say there is a consensus.

Also, where as there may be some people who are touting that there is no global warming for the sake of money, but also the opposite is true. There are A LOT of researchers who's funds depend on global warming. There is a lot of people around the worlds that would be out of a job if it was just a myth.

The fact remains that we simply do not understand the world we live in from a long term geo-historical perspective enough to really say for sure. I don't think we should just blow all global warming as a myth until it is proven so. To do so would be folly. At the same time, I don't think that we should get rid of all our gas engines and shut down all the factories either. I personally like the world we live in to at least some degree and prefer not to revert back to the stone ages as the Al Gores of the world would have us. Also, your buddy Al Gore probably consumes 10x more goods and energy as any of us combine. This is just is little platform to have something to do. I would wager he doesn't give a rats rectum about global warming other than it makes him a lot of money.

Best Global Warming Article Ever!

2008-02-08T12:11:00.000-08:00

Ok all you mugs, lets throw the best "anti-global warming" bomb I have seen to date. Obviously this doesn't necessarily "prove" that global warming is a farce, but I think it sure as hack makes Al Gore and his buddies look like morons, which actually they do a pretty good job of on their own.

I think if there is a modern day calamity of huge proportions, it is something like this. Please discuss.

This is from:

http://www.investors.com/editorial/editorialcontent.asp?secid=1501&status=article&id=287279412587175

The Sun Also Sets

INVESTOR'S BUSINESS DAILY

Posted 2/7/2008

Climate Change: Not every scientist is part of Al Gore's mythical "consensus." Scientists worried about a new ice age seek funding to better observe something bigger than your SUV — the sun.

I am alive!

2007-11-19T14:45:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I haven’t posted in a while. Not that I have any fans begging for more or anything, and much of what many of you would want to hear you know already, or you can get on K’s site. Today I have 10 minutes left in the day, and I am just simply done. I can’t stomach anymore concentration.

Anyway, it has been a good fall mostly. With new kid Brendan on the way, things are looking busy for the spring. We are looking at Mini-vans, and amazingly, I am not opposed to getting one. I know some people won’t get one, but hey, they are more accommodating for families than an SUV. How many of you really go driving around off-road anyway, so what is the point of an SUV? Have you still got this high-school, I wanna be cool thing going on? Give it up. You are a parent. That means you are no longer cool, so don’t fight it!

We are going to Indiana to be with my family this Thanksgiving. We will go Wednesday and come back on Saturday. It should be a great time. Ian is to the stage now where he travels pretty well (besides pulling out his hair on one entire side of his head while he sits there bored) and does very well away from home. He sleeps well regardless of where he is, and doesn’t get particularly upset about a new location or not being home.

Sunday we put up or Christmas tree and decorations. We have not really done much with that in the last many years, but now that Ian is around and loves lights and stuff, we will do more. It will be interesting to see how he reacts to the Christmas tree this year. I will also get out my Lego train for him to watch go around the tree. Since the dog is now confined to the kitchen and living room, and the tree takes up a pretty fair chunk of the living room, her space will now be reduced to less.

I think it is time to take the dog out hunting with only me returning. Of course Katrina loves that dog, which means I have to put up with poop, pee, fur EVERYWHERE, MASSIVE STINK EVERYWHERE, shredded garbage, walking, getting in my way, feeding, watering, ruining floors and other things, dirty everything anywhere she goes (our futon needs a bath), and so on and so on and so on… Dogs suck. If you like dogs, more power to ya. You can have mine too. I am hoping it kicks it as I write. I only tolerate it because it is Katrina’s dog, and she loves it, so by default I have to begrudgingly tolerate it, and force myself to like it. It will be time to fumigate and spend the 10 gazillion dollars and 10 gazillion hours it will take to recover from this stinky beast. I will NEVER... EVER... have a dog again. Well, if somebody gave me a million dollars to adopt a dog, I probably would. In fact I would do it for 100k, but probably no less.

Wo… where did that come from?

The results...

2007-08-21T13:03:00.000-07:00

As many of you already know, we are expecting again. I am not sure if there is anyone who actually reads my blog that doesn’t know. Many of you already know that last week, we didn’t hear a heartbeat at our 11 week appt. The Dr. said this is common, and it shouldn’t worry us. Well, it really didn’t worry me. Why worry when there is nothing to worry about? Well, of course that doesn’t appease pregnant women. Katrina has been pretty much a nervous wreck this week with worry. Understandable of course. I was a little concerned, probably because Katrina was. She felt that "something was wrong" since then, and of course this amplified the paranoia several orders of magnitude higher. Well, today we had the ultra sound. Within about 3 seconds of putting the little probie on her stomach, we saw the little booger moving around, and heart beating. It was obviously a relief to both of us, especially Katrina. She was on cloud 11 I think. It was pretty funny though. The little baby was doing flip-flops all over the place like a little gymnast. Literally, it jumped up in the air and flipped all the way over like a back flip a few times. Crazy stuff for a 12 week old. Anyway, we are pleased that the baby is developing to be what appears to be normal. We saw 2 arms and 2 legs, hands and feet. We are blessed!

Global Warming

2007-08-16T05:31:00.000-07:00

Ok, hot debate topic: Global Warming. I am pretty sick of hearing about it. It is interesting indeed to study both sides of the issue and see what they have to say. My position is essentially that global warming is real. However, what we do not know is what the effects on climate, sea levels, and the environment are. We don't know if temperatures will rise, or eventually fall. It could cause an ice age, or melt a lot of the ice on the planet. We just don't know. It could create a Utopian environment for all we know.

The main fact is that carbon dioxide levels are at an extremely high level, and based on the available information (like Arctic core ice samples) it has never been this high. Given the crap that humans are belching out of their factories, cars, and airplanes, it is not surprising. Until somebody can pin-point another major source of CO2, I am going to believe this is a human caused event. The temperature is only up slightly above historical trends. If this CO2 really had that much of a drastic effect on temperature, I think we would see it.

So, what about all the Al Gore crap? Well, Gore is a complete dork. This is his little way into the folds of fat on people, scratching and clawing your skin to make you listen to him. He needs a political stance, and some way to make money. This is it for him. He can kiss my fanny. There is not much scientific, historically based fact in what he says. More hurricanes? How do you know? We didn't track them before 100 years ago, so it may be a trend. Rising ocean levels? That is purely based on temperature. We haven't seen enough of this to know why, or what is next. Famine? Please... read the Bible and watch Sally Struthers as she has been working with famine kids for 250 years. Climate change? Whatever dude, the climate on this planet changes constantly. Many scientists believe that more that 6000 years ago that north Africa was a wet paradise. Signs of continual change are everywhere. Anyway, that just wets the surface.

So, where I don't believe we should just shut down our refineries and oil plants world wide plunging us back to the stone ages (like Gore the environmental hippy whore), I do believe we should put more effort into studies and put in reasonable efforts at decreasing emissions, finding new clean energy sources, and whatever else we can do. That just makes sense. Everyone knows that we are damaging our environment with emissions, cutting down rain forests, and polluting chemicals, etc. Lets focus on that sort of stuff first without bankrupting the planet in the process. We have bigger things to worry about, like food and water shortages looming on the horizon, or like a government that seems to screw everything up by doing anything. They should just keep doing nothing like they usually do, which seems to work quite well.

The bottom line is that over-reacting is foolish, but so is not acting at all is also.

The Battle of the Minds...

2007-08-10T08:20:00.000-07:00

A battle of minds is being waged in my household. Myself vs. Ian. We are in a struggle like a game of chess. Ian on the side of getting into things, and Eric on the side of keeping him out. Of course this first started when Ian started walking a while back.

Ian's first move was grabbing my remote controls from the coffee table. At first, my counter move was wasn't particularly difficult or challenging for me as I just moved them to the back of the table. Ians next move was to bite the fireplace. Of course that was pretty irritating to us as it simply is not pleasant to bite bricks, or even watch somebody bite bricks, so this got us pretty good. We had some padding on the bricks, which helped some, but eventually we resorted to putting a blockade of stuff round it to keep him away.

Next was him crawling behind the couch and playing with the electrical wires. I actually think this was in the crawling stage. To check him, I had to build a large wooden badger... er, I mean a custom fence that I mounted to the wall resting up against the back of the couch. Quite effective really. This was a check mate on that activity. His next move wasn't quite as creative as he started reaching for the power cords behind the TV. I promptly built another wall mounted screen to block is way.

Next, the clever little guy learned to put stuff in front of the couch to climb up on it. He was using tools. There wasn't much we could do about this if we want to have a couch in the family room. Checkmate Ian! Fortunately he didn't do this too often.

Next, he decided to grow some more so he could reach my remote on the back of the coffee table. About the same time he started pulling the pillow out that blocked his way behind the couch between teh coffee table and couch. Of course this meant war... We moved his toy box in front of the coffee table. Of course it wasn't long until he started to move the toy box. I managed to pin it in place, so he just leared to crawl in it. From inside the toy box, he could crawl on the coffee table. Meanwhile, he was also moving the plastic storage bin blocking his access to the fireplace. I mounted a hook on the bricks and used a bunge cord around the bin for a while, but once he started the toy box thing, I had to take drastic measures. I got too old wood baby-gates and tied them from the edge of the couch all the way past the fireplace. "This will keep the little booger out for good!", me thoughts. Well, I was right, he has no direct access to the fireplace or coffee table now. However, within a few minutes he figured out he could step on the grids of the gate to climb up on the couch. Easy access to the coffee table. Bummer. So, the next day I countered by mounting a piece of paneling on the gate preventing his little feet access to the grid. Well, within a few hours the little cuss learned to climb on the couch unassisted. Check mate Ian again... Great Scott what do we do now???

Well, I am not a big fan of having to punish a 16 month old, however, the game was over, and the beatings begin... well, not really, but he does periodically get a little tap on the back of the leg. We decided immediately that he is allowed on the couch, however no standing because standing always leads to trying to climb up on the back of the couch. Since we would really rather him not fall into the kitchen, this is unacceptable behavior. He also crawls onto the coffee table, which we would rather not allow. So punishment consists of lots of "no", lots of putting him down, and a few swats. If nearly always responds, but he always does it again after a few minutes. So, he gets to spend a little time in his jail (play-pen), which really isn't so much of a punishment. Katrina's time is being highly monopolized by our little monster of a son. We love him so dearly, and other than this, he is such a good little man. We love to play together, read books, and I get to feed him regularly now. He is definitely one of the few great joys of my life.

Whoopin up a bathroom

2007-06-26T12:47:00.001-07:00

Today I am struggling with a start-up glitch on a microprocessor pin, and it is ticking me off. So, I will blog for a few minutes before returning to head banging. The bathroom is nearly complete (pics on K's blog). I cut the the tile Saturday, installed it on Sunday, and grouted last night. On Sunday, we put in the counter and all the accessories, and Katrina painted on Saturday. Tonight, I install the toilet, and hook-up the sink. Hopefully I have everything I need, or I will be running back to the hardware store for the millionth time this month. Plumbing is a pain since there are so many different gizmos required just to hook up something.

The only things left to do are seal the floor grout, make all the wood-work and hang it and install the door. Have a bowl of Scrotie-O's on me!

So, after this I will chill for about 6 months and do little projects here and there. Then, who knows. Football season is just around the corner!

Bathroom Revisited

2007-06-13T13:24:00.000-07:00

So, let me tell you, it is pretty tough trying to maintain a schedule on this bathroom, and work full time and try to at least spend a few minutes a day with the fam and even relaxing for an hour before bed. I've been coming home at 4 every day, and putting in 2 to 4 hours of work, depending on the goal for that day. Then 12 hour days on the weekends only stopping to eat.

Tonight I put the grout on the shower tiles. Fortunately I believe I can do that in one evening. I have lots of mudding still to do, and I need to cut the floor tiles and have them ready to go by the time the mudding/sanding and first coat of primer is on the walls and ceiling.

Then there is the vanity fiasco. We bought a maple vanity finished in natural wood color on deep clearance. I figured we could sand it and stain it. Well, that has been quite a challenge, let me tell you. We will see if we don't give up and go buy another... yikes.

Bathroom Update

2007-06-11T11:00:00.000-07:00

This weekend was tiling weekend. It is quite challenging to line everything up to start since all sides of the tub were slightly sloping, so the first row needed to be cut to fit. The top was the same. Fortunately the walls themselves were very straight so all edges were the same size with one minor exception It took all of Saturday and Sunday just to get the tiles up, and I have yet to do the outer edge with the bullnose tiles (done tonight). The next step is grouting, which will take much less time and should be done in the following two evenings. See Katrina's blog for some pics. I am still working on mudding, which is such a pain. The plan is to have that done this weekend in conjunction with the floor tile, which I should be doing on Saturday. The floor will be much easier than the tub.

Remodeling the Bathroom

2007-06-04T12:17:00.000-07:00

Well, the bathroom project is going well. Pictures are available on Katrina's blog (see to the left for a link). The demo took me about 11 hours total which isn't too bad really. Removing the drywall was effort, but relatively easy. Taking out the tub was not to bad either, just some pipe cutting, and the fact that it was about 300lbs were the only difficulties.

The first phase in starting was the electric. I wired up a GFCI circuit with two outlets, and a shower fan and shower light. The fan and light are on one switch. Then there are two over-head can lights, and two wall sconses, each on a dimmer switch. I spent about 3 hours in the attic with itchy fiberglass insulation which is never fun. Total of about 12 hours doing all that. The lighting is terrific.

For the next phase, the tub went in. It wasn't too bad really, just had to put down some more flooring and shim it to the walls and screw it in. The backer board for the tub was pretty easy too. I used a new product called DensShield which is better than Durock. I did the joints with mortor and mesh tape. Next was the drywall. Since there was a lot of stuff to work around, it took me probably 20 hours to get all that in. I did the first coat of mud yesterday, which
is not fun, but it is the hardest coat. I will sand it tonight. Over the next week or so, I will do 3 more coats then it is finished. I won't take any shortcuts with it as I want it to look really nice of course.

So that is where I am at now...

Next I will be tiling the tub, hopefully on Saturday. If all goes as planned, I will lay the tile and be done Saturday, then do the grout on Sunday. Of course I may over-run that time. After that, I will put in the new vanity, which will be stained to match the woodwork. We have a really nice granite top for it, a nice bronze fixture, and also bronze everything else including shower fixtures, door handles, toilet handle, etc.

After that I will tile the floor, which should be easier than the tub. I should have that done the following weekend, then get the new toilet in a day after the grout dries on the floor. Before we put the counter back-splash in, we will paint. We are doing a 3-color fo-paint job, which should be beautiful. The last job, which may drag out for a while is the wood-work, which I am making myself. That will consist of door trim, all-around floor trim, and then crown molding. I figure I can get that done at my leisure. I have spent about 80 hours so far, and figure I have about 60 more to go (and probably 30 more for the woodwork). I figure I will have saved about $10,000 in costs by doing it all myself. I think at the end, it will be a nice wow-factor for the house.

The next project is TBD. I plan on pretty much doing small tasks for the rest of the summer, and probably through football season. If we have the budget for it next year, I might work on the small bathroom. I really want to do our kitchen, but we won't have the budget for that for several years at least. Bummer...

Shhhhh... Dad doesn't know I am posting here!

2007-05-01T11:21:00.000-07:00

Hi, I'm Ian! I'm posting on my dad's blog cuz I have some observations which I have made that I want to write about. So, I have been going to church for a year now, and that is a very long time! My whole life! The biggest question I have is, why do we only sing hims and not hers? This week, I figured out why we call them pews... because people sit on them with their stinky butts! I have been putting "in the bathtub" after every him, and let me tell you, that is funny! My favorite now is "Be Ready to Go In the Bathtub" because I certainly am! My cousin pooped in the bathtub once and Grandma caught it. My uncle Demel peed on his head once too. That's all pretty gross! So when they pass the money around, I am just waiting for the right moment to grab it and run! I probably won't get very far, but if I do I am going to give it to my Grandpa so he can buy some new hair. I am always wondering why people have so many questions during the music. They should wait to put their hands up after we sing, the sillies. Then there is our friend Heather. She must have a really important question! Is it just me, or are we singing to a large wooden cross on the wall? Why can't they just put a baby Einstein video on that big screen? That way I would probably stop trying to pull the fat lady's hair in front of me and watch. My favorite time is when everyone bows their heads and the guy up front rambles for a while. That is when I like to talk, sing, and generally make as much noise as possible. Then mommy or daddy will take me for a nice walk around the building. Lately I have to go to the nursery. There I can see other little peeps and play with toys I don't have at home. I keep looking for that door to be open so I can run! Well, that is all I have to say right now, but I will post again when I can sneak onto the computer again.

Ian

Music by the Decade

2007-04-18T11:15:00.000-07:00

This is my personal synopsis of music by the era:

50's-- Music wasn't invented until the 60's, contrary to popular belief amongst the senile elderly who have delusions that anything before the Beetles was anything more than noise with a few exceptions (I ack Motown as a valid form of music, and Elvis is at least to be respected, and granted a few other rare artists like Mozart, Beethoven, etc did their thing).

60's-- Beetles, Stones, The Who, the Doors, and a slew of other pioneers did their thing. You may not like it, but they invented it. Radios and recording still sound like clock radios do today.

70's-- Early 70's-- I think the bulk of the best classic rock came from this era, including the last years of the great 60's artists... except the rolling stones who are still playing, and are now the the Rolling Geriatrics. Late 70's-- Disco... well, not much good to say about disco. We all like a few songs, but over all the era was really bad. Only a few greats emerged here. Sound quality from recordings and gear in this decade advances to being about as good as it is going to get. Dark Side of the Moon has an unbelievable quality for 1973. The cassette tape enters the picture as the primary medium. Everyone burns their albums.

80's-- Remember the 80's? Neither to I. Really there were several good things going on here, but over all, this has to be the greatest collection of garbage of all time (personal opinion, but a very very popular one). Somehow this seems to be making a resurgence, which to me was about as bad of an idea as bringing back bell-bottoms, or making at 30th anniversary model of the "great" fiery Ford Pinto.

90's-- I think you have to say the 90's was another great decade for music. Grunge came and went, and it is now "classic rock" and still played often on those stations. Country music flourished, and even though I despise it, those who don't tell me that it rose from Box Car Willie to outselling much of the pop world. Can you say Garth Brooks? I won't... Boy bands rise; gag me with a chain saw instead please. Rap music unfortunately rises to stardom as well. R&B flourishes rising out of the ashes of Disco. Techno music is now regarded as a real genre. Thrash metal becomes popular, and rapidly rots away into trash metal. CD's evolve to the primary medium in the early 90's. Everyone throws their tapes away.

00's-- And here was are now. I think there is so much different stuff out there to listen to today, that it is hard to break it down. Also, I am quite out of the popular loop. However what is worth talking about is how the medium has change in this decade, not the music itself. MP3 players, internet downloads, internet radio, satellite radio, Computers are now powerful enough to be your primary medium, and the proliferation control that the big corporate record industry sharks had on what gets played on the radio and released on "record" looses its grip. This results in a huge wave of new artists. My main source of music now is internet radio. www.pandora.com is an amazing way to listen to and discover new music. Basically you can customize your "station" by telling it an artist(s) or song(s) that you want your station to center around. Then the station will play those, and other things like it. You can control what is played, but not when it is played (RIAA requirements). If you don't like something, you "thumbs down" it and it won't get played again. If you like, you "thumbs up" and it will be played again. As you keep doing this, over time it will keep evolving to your tastes. I've been working on a station for about 8 months now, and I love it. I am always hearing new stuff I've never heard or heard of, some good, some bad, but over all it is what I want to hear, and it is always new. Awesome stuff. So, lets put away the crap we have been listening to for years, and embrace this new world at our fingers. What good are CD's anymore?

10's-- For the sake of pure speculation, I can't see music evolving much more. Sure, other forms will come, but they are all too much of a variation on a familiar theme. What hasn't been done? I challenge you to point out something "very" original today. Like good ideas, it has all been done before. The medium however will continue to evolve. In this decade we will move to solid state "hard drives" that are so tiny, you will barely know you have it. You will be able to fit the entire collection of music of all time in your wrist watch. Maybe we will have implants that allow you to listen to music without using our ears by exciting the part of the brain that hears. You will be able to listen (or watch for that matter) anything you want, anywhere you want. It has become more interesting to watch technology evolve than music now. However, the technology will also be the end of us... maybe. That is another post.

Mothers are always your best friend...

2007-04-16T13:27:00.000-07:00

Of course that depends on the definition of friend...

This definition implies one who is always there for you, and more specifically, one that is always in your corner on everything, regardless of the facts. Facts or maybe more of a personal interpretation of the subject.

Lets look at a few examples: "Son, you are the most handsome boy in the world". This one is pretty obvious. I am NOT the most handsome boy in the world. Another would be "mom, does this huge bleeding puss leaking zit on the tip of my nose look bad?", "no son, it makes you look more handsome than ever". So, mothers always see their children as being much more than they are. This is ok of course, at least to some degree. Kids need encouragement, and this is a great way to build them up.

This has a side effect as well in that kids will not necessarily always believe anything a mother says in those regards if it is over used. When my mother tells me I am handsome, I completely disregard the statement since I know she would say that if I looked more like a pile of camel dung than I already do.

Continuing with that thought, that begs the question of whether some more honesty might be a better method or not. Maybe a mother should say, "no son, you look like a pile of camel dung", if a child looks like a pile of camel dung. This might better prepare a child for the world in that the child will not have the false pretense that they don't look like a pile of camel dung when they really do. This could set them up for a pretty big let down when they find out.

Regardless, we appreciate our mothers, honest or not. And again, they are being honest, because they really believe it, at least most of the time. They put on the mothers filters, and never take them off. At the end of the day, it is nice to always have that one person that can see you as something other than looking like a pile of camel dung.

What was my point? Not really sure I guess...

TG4 Mothers!

Humans often misinterpret words...

2007-04-12T08:57:00.000-07:00

It is so frequent that we say or write one thing, but people see or hear it another way. It is very difficult to use the English language to effectively communicate what we mean due to the language having so much word usage implying many things. However much of our interpretation is actually faulty due to our poor language skills. Even the more proficient people often read/hear things incorrectly, even though the it was written/spoken correctly, and vice versa.

For example, my last post was explaining why I don't have anything to write because to you the reader, it would be boring. My dear Mother interpreted that as my saying I am bored. I am not bored, but reciting my life in a blog post would bore most people. Maybe not my mother, but that is different. I want to tell you that I climbed Mt. Everest and lost 3 arms to the cold, however the closest I can come is telling you about the strawberry pot stand I built. One is exciting, and the other boring... or how about the fact that my nice little sister-in-law likes my Bah-Mee-Hank? Is that exciting? No! Boring! How about this... I am working on a project at work to network figherfighters together. Exciting? NO! BORING!

I have several pics I want to blog about, just need to take the time to surf through the hard drive of photos and get them... more coming soon!

Alright, alright, post-schmost!

2007-03-29T13:33:00.000-07:00

For some odd reason, I have nothing to say. When I have nothing to say, I am probably just going to ramble on about nothing for a while. What good does that do? It just wastes your time with nonsensical gibberish about the liberation of bat guano in the northern Swaziland highlands. Speaking of which, the bat guano has been under an imperialistic dictatorship of gag-mites for years, and fighting to over-throw the useless and cruel mites.

So, what has been going on? Well, I am happy to report that I have a wife, a son, I have a job, I have a roof over my head. What else is there? Specifics? Well, I took a shower today, came to work, will go home and play with Ian, play with Katrina, then go to bed. What else is there? NOTHING! Thats it. You all happy now? You want to hear that life is mundane and boring? Do I have to spell it out for you???

Oh, I did think of something, but Katrina already posted that on her blog. What is the point of repeating it?

Wait... scratch all that. XXXX

For updated information on the White family, please visit Katrina's blog (link on right).

Yadayada, blahblahblah...

Eat Cheese and Beef. DON'T Be Mormon!

Who do I look like?

2007-02-18T07:26:00.000-08:00

Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

My dad says that I look like the little chicken from the Foghorn Leghorn cartoon; the one that is smart and can do calculus. Regardless, I am pretty cute aren't I? These new glasses are pretty big on me, but so what? I have such a big brain, that I need big glasses. Does it make me look smart? Daddy is teaching me differential equations today. I hope to pass the college course here by next year.

Well, I have to run... I need to go get in my play-pen and dump all the toys out on the floor to make daddy have to come clean them up. See you later alligator!

-The Boogieman

Let me introduce myself...

2007-02-18T06:46:00.000-08:00

Hello, my name is Jeffery. I am 7 years old and I am a genius. My IQ is 200... kitty IQ that is. I have the patience of a mountain, but I startle easily. I took a picture of myself sitting in my chair. Well, I think grandma got this for that little scary Boogs dude, but I took it from him. It is just my size! My family calls me by many names. One is Chief Little Fish. I think it is because I act like the chief of the cats, and I sit in the sink for hours at a time waiting on water from the tap. I have so share the chief roll with that big fat stupid cat Poof. He is my friend though and we chase each other around the house. Sometimes we fight, hissing and growling, but it is all fun and games. When anyone goes into the bathroom, I come a running because I can drink water from the sink. I love to eat, but that big fat cat will kick me out of my bowl and eat the rest of my food. I know I am too small to fight back, but I don't know why I cave then. I don't any other time. One time I almost died. I couldn't pee, and it hurt so bad. All I could do was lay there and suffer. I had to go to the horrible hospital to get well, but I made it. My house has ghosts in it, and I chase them all the time. Only I can see them of course. My sister is dumb, only having an IQ of about 10. I think I got all the brains in the family. When Ian eats, I sit right next to him as sometimes I get to lick the bowl. Oh, and my favorite thing in the whole world is tuna, but what cat doesn't like tuna? I prefer sushi with wasabi and soy of course, but who doesn't? Well, I am tired now, so I will go take a nap on the bed in the sun.

-Jeffy

Colts Win!

2007-02-04T19:33:00.000-08:00

Enough said...

What exactly is cold???

2007-02-04T06:08:00.000-08:00

I woke up this morning to walk the stinky dog, and the thermometer read -14. THAT my friends is cold. For you Floridians, I hate to tell you this but 60 is not cold. Actually, for that matter neither is 32.

So, lets put it in context here: -14 is 46 degrees colder than 32. That is the same difference as 78 to 32, and you all know that is a very big difference.

Further more, the wind-chills are actually anywhere from -20 to -35 depending on the wind speed out. You can do the math on that.

So, what does -14 feel like? Well, first when you walk out, your nose hairs freeze instantly and your breath is completely frosted. It even feels like your tongue freezes if you breathe through your mouth. The dog starts to shiver immediately and within 30 seconds starts to attempt to walk with out her feet touching the ground, which is kinda funny. Exposed skin, starts to hurt after a minute, and much less if the wind is blowing. My legs start to hurt after two minutes even with thick pants and long-johns on. Less than great gloves don't seem to help much. Any cracks in your cloths allowing air in will cause some major discomfort. You don't want to stay out for more than 4 minutes or you will be in some serious pain. Frostbite would set in in about 5 minutes on exposed skin. The walls of the inside of the house are very cold, and you could probably freeze water on them. Most of the windows are frosted too.

So, today we are skipping church. Ian might freeze solid out in this stuff. I believe our high will be about -5 today, and we are not going anywhere. As always, when winter weather returns to 32, we will break out the shorts and wash our cars.

Go Colts!

2007-02-01T11:10:00.000-08:00

Well, it has FINALLY happened. What? Well, actually several things. First, the Colts have finally made it to the Superbowl in Indy. I believe I was 14 when they made the migration, and was officially a fan then. I was never a very big fan of football in general until I was older, but over the last 10 years or so, it has only increased in fervor.

Secondly, this is the first time ANY of my teams have made it to their respective big games. Purdue football and basketball have never made it, the Cubs haven't been in a bazillion years, and the Pacers have never made it either.

Third, Manning finally gets to go to the big game. I am pleased as it has been painful watching him be so great, and not make it.

So, to conclude: the game has not been won yet, so I can't exactly make any of these claims as making it to the big game and winning the big game is two separate things. Well, at least they "made it", so lets see if I can get the made it part and win it part in the same year, otherwise I will be still in the same boat, just using "win the big game" instead of make it.

To keep boring you, I would just like to say that the Cubs have bolstered their roster this year, and are gearing up for a run. Purdue Football is a largely returning team next year (that is a long shot still of course), and Purdue basketball is decent this year, and has had some awesome recruiting of late. Next years Frosh class will be one of the top ranked in the nation, so I have very high hopes for the future. The Pacers? Honestly I don't really care that much about the NBA, although I will pay attention to the finals if the Pacers or other team I like is in it. I have been a pretty hard-core Packers fan since moving to WI, but they haven't done much since then. I adopted the Saints this year with Drew Brees going there (Purdue QB) and with the K recovery and all. Too bad they didn't make it.

Although I have fair-weather fanned on a few football teams over the years, namely the Redskins and Bears, this will be the first SB that I really watch with passion. Go Colts!

Meow...

2007-01-12T14:08:00.001-08:00

Hi! I’m Poof! I am sneaking onto my mommy’s computer and secretly posting on my daddy’s blog. I set the timer on the camera to take my picture, see? Actually they are not my real parents as I am the spawn of some other mangy felines that abandoned me... Jerks... These peeps just adopted me. Suckers… they feed me, give me a place to live, and scratch my head occasionally. I LOVE to eat, and it is what I am about. I go MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW over and over, then they feed me. If I had an endless supply of food, I would eat myself to death! Then this is this stupid dog that eats my poop. What an idiot! The thing stinks and pretty much just annoys me. When mommy isn’t looking, I fart on her face and rub my butt on her bed. There is this other stupid fraidy-cat Jewel that I chase around and torment for fun. I want to eat her for lunch. That is what I do, so cut me a break Jake! Speaking of jewels, somebody cut mine off. I had bath once, and it was the most horrible thing ever! I need to go lay down as I have been up for 5 minutes now, which is way too long unless I am eating. One time my daddy was dreaming, and he thought I was an alien being used as a soccer ball and he kicked me across the room and I didn't like that.

The Beef with My Beef

2007-01-05T09:05:00.000-08:00

Beef... its whats for dinner. Beef is the creme da-la creme of meat. Prime rib is the creme da-la creme of beef. It gets no better than this. The Prime cut of prime rib is the top grade. The best part of the prime rib is the fatty end roast, which is the most marbled, fatty part of the roast which translates into the juices, most tender and succulent bite of meat (if properly cooked of course) that you will ever have in your life. That is what I made for Christmas this year at Christa and Demel's house (Christa is Katrina's sister).

Lets start by bragging about the price... well, it illustrates the quality of the meat. This is a 6 lb roast. We got it at Petty's meat market, which has a very high reputation for quality in the Orlando area. We have never gone wrong with Petty's.

The meat sat in the fridge over-night where the meat fairy's sprinkled their yummy dust, and spit on it, or whatever fairy's to these days. We had armed smurfs on patrol instructed to shoot and eat any wannabe meat bandits. On Christmas day it sat out for several hours to warm up to room temperature. Beef cooks better if it is room temp all the way through, and this works for steaks too. This also gave the peeps the change to stare and droll over this luscious chunk of cow flesh.

We acquired a high quality digital thermometer with the wire that runs out of the oven, then a wireless unit that you can carry with you that has an alarm on it. I was play darts when it was done and the alarm sounded.

The meat was prep'd by first wetting the meat (with water you sicko) then drizzled with a thick coating of salt, and slathered with a layer of thin sliced fresh garlic. The oven was heated to 500, and cooked for about 15 minutes to create a nice crust (I will reduce to 450 next time for a bit longer). Then the temp was reduced to 200 for the final slow roasting over about an hour. The temperature was raised to 140 before removing. Under normal conditions, I would remove at 135, however we had too many "medium rare" people at the event, and being the accommodating weasel that I am, I complied with the large majority.

Regardless of the burnt meat, it was quite delicious! Dingleberry Demel still says, "what is the big deal with prime rib? Its good and all, but...". Demel is just missing prime rib processing part of his brain or something. This is, after all, a man who saves his farts in a jar!

Notice the supreme meatness of this gorgeous hunk of heavenly love! Succulent!

Each bite melts in your mouth!

I topped it off with an Au Jus that was made from the drippings and mixed with a nice Shiraz, and reduced.

Oh, and we did have other stuff for dinner too, but I am not sure what. Ah, mashed potatoes, which are another wonderful food when properly prepared! Grandpa makes a pretty mean stuffing too... oh, right. We had that other thing... Turkey... gak. One thing about turkey is that right out of the oven, there are some fatty brown parts with skin on them, that when hot are actually quite juicy and delicious. After that, its all down hill. My vision of turkey is highlighted in the movie "Christmas Vacation". If you don't know what I am talking about, watch the movie sometime. It is the best turkey scene ever.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all some good beef!

Seriouslly.... Merry Christmas!

2006-12-22T09:34:00.000-08:00

You need to ask myself, can you be serious for once? The answer is that I was serious once, and it got me in pretty big trouble. So, now that it is done, I can at least answer yes to that question. Now on to the silliness....

American Airlines reported today that one of its 737 aircraft has accidentally hit Santa Clause on a flight from Vancouver to Detroit. A spokes person was quoted saying, "We regret this incident and want to apologize to all the children around the world that will no longer get gifts because of this." When they get around to scraping Santa off of the plane, funeral services will be held at the North Pole.

Monday is Christmas, and I am starting a new tradition with Katrina's family. In addition to the traditional turkey, we are adding BEEF to the menu! That's right, I am cooking up an 8 lb, grade A PRIME, PRIME RIB roast! We are acquiring this luscious cut of meat from Petty's meat market in Longwood, FL where some of the best meat can be had at relatively expensive, but worth it prices. I will cook it RARE to medium-rare of course, as that is the ONLY way to eat BEEF! When I pop this in my mouth and it melts over my tongue providing the most sensational burst of pleasure, I will think of you all eating your dry, nasty turkey... suckers! I am sure my next post will document this experience.

We will be in Florida for 10 days this year, and it should be a great relaxing experience, and of course much needed. Hopefully I can torment Demel continuously. I am sure I will make him pee in his underoos several times, although he doesn't really need much help with that one.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good BEEF!

Can Beef be Bad???

2006-12-18T09:13:00.000-08:00

The answer is a big YES. Beef can be nasty, but it takes effort. Our company Christmas party on Saturday turned out to be a dud due to a nasty steak. This is how you do it:

Go to the store, a bad store, in fact go to the worst store you can think of with the worst reputation. Go to the meat department... no actually when you walk in the door, make sure it STINKS. If not, go somewhere else. Put on a blindfold, and smell your way to the nastiest smell in the store. Take off the blindfold, and if you are standing next to the meat counter, you scored, otherwise find another store. Check out the meat clerks. If they are covered with tatoos, have dirty hands and fingernails, long greasy hair, and the place is really dirty, we are good to go. Now take a look at the meats. Find something that looks REALLY BAD, probably brown, or something other than pink or red, and it likely doesn't look like steak, but maybe a cow patty. If you suspect the meat is horse or camel, this is the steak for you! Make a comment to the meat counter guy about horse or camel, give him a wink or a nudge. If he turns red, then you are in the right place. Make sure it smells rancid, but also ask if they have an expired cuts that look any worse that this one in the garbage that you can take, if not take the one you picked. Head home. Let the meat sit out in the hot sun for a few days, and let the flies land on it, lay eggs, and hatch around the time you are ready to cook it. Prep your meat by rolling it in the dirt that has accumulated in the bottom of your trashcan for several years, then add some essence of smoked dog butt (available online at a novelty store). Go ahead, put on lots of it! Crank up the grill to record levels. Add some old tires for the added heat and smoky flavor. Put on the steak, close the lid, and set your timer for 3 days. Check the propane tank occasionally and change it when necessary. Replenish tires as needed. Add essence of dog butt every 3 hours. Baste every 2 hours with a mixture of antifreeze, hairspray, and fermented ectoplasm. When the timer goes off, make sure you get the steak off the grill quickly so you don't over-cook it! Transfer steak to a plate and put it in the refrigerator for 5 minutes so it is room temperature. Serve with a bed of nasty vegetables. You will need a VERY sharp knife, and probably a spare set of teeth for when you break yours. I recommend starting with a glass of Pepto Bismol to prepare your stomach for its ugly fate, and squelch that horrid gag reflex. Plan on this taking 4-6 hours as each bite will take up to 20 minutes to chew. If you can eat the whole thing without barfing, congratulations, you have just joined the nasty steak eaters club!

My Favorite Movies

2006-12-13T07:34:00.000-08:00

My favorite movies of all time: well, this is always hard for me. The following list is probably going to be missing a few, and this is NOT in order, but listed as they come to mind. Also, I must say that some of these I don't enjoy as much today, however they are listed because I have lasting respect for the work. I will also include favorite movies from when I was a kid, but wouldn't actually make my top list today (like Back to the Future), and will thus note that with the movie. I will probably update this as I think of movies I forgot.

1. The Shawshank Redemption
2. All 3 Lord of the Rings movies
3. Pulp Fiction
4. All three original Star Wars movies - Childhood favorites
5. Raiders of the Lost Ark
6. Back to the Future - A childhood favorite
7. Ghostbusters - A childhood favorite
8. The usual Suspects
9. Good fellas
10. Memento
11. The silence of the Lambs
12. Amelie
13. American Beauty
14. The Matrix
15. Glory
16. A Clockwork Orange
17. Brazil
18. LA Story
19. 12 Monkeys
20. Braveheart
21. Forrest Gump
22. Batman Begins
23. Spiderman 2
24. Kill Bill Vol. 1&2
25. Aladdin (Disney)
26. Donnie Darko (directors cut)
27. Groundhog Day
28. Trainspotting
29. Swimming with Sharks
30. Pirates of the Carribean
31. Jacobs Ladder
32. Twin Peaks - Firewalk with Me
33. Mulholland Drive
34. Empire of the Sun
35. Fight Club
36. Dances with Wolves
37. Rosencrantz & Guildenstern are Dead

Honorable Mentions (for being awesome movies)
1. L.A. Confidential
2. American History X
3. Bridge on the River Kwai
4. Saving Private Ryan - Mainly for the opening scene
5. 2001
6. Platoon
7. The Sting
8. Terminator 2
9. Hero
10. The Incredibles
11. The Red Violin
12. Crash
13. 21 grams
14. Indiana Jones and the last Crusade
15. The Green Mile
16. Gladiator
17. Die Hard - Childhood
18. Magnolia
19. Ed Wood
20. The Ring
21. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
22. Being There
23. Fargo
24. Requiem for a Dream
25. One flew over the Cockoos nest
26. The Godfather I & II
27. The English Patient
28. Schnidlers List
29. Dead Poets Society
30. Apocolypse Now
31. The Fisher King
32. Monty Python and the Holy Grail
33. Natural Born Killers

Notable WORST Movies
1. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom - Pulling hearts out of chests, kid, dumb chick, stupid
2. A.I. (the only time I fell asleep in a movie)
3. Gigli - I have not seen it, but it HAS to be terrible!!!
4. Van Helsing - Turned it off after 15 minutes

Best Actors & Actresses - This is hard, but these come to mind
1. Edward Norton
2. Kevin Spacy
3. Johny Depp
4. Brad Pitt
5. Naomi Watts
6. Harrison Ford
7. Anthony Hopkins - Mainly for Hannibal Lecter
8. Robert DeNiro

WORST Actors/Actresses
1. Keanu Reeves - He is Ted, and that is all he will ever be
2. Christian Slater - Purely annoying
3. Chris O'Donnell - Just plain stupid
4. Ben Affleck - looser
5. Sandra Bullock - Yuck... yuck...

I am so excited!

2006-12-08T12:31:00.000-08:00

Hi my name is Ian and I am sooooo excited because love my exersaucer and that Santa Clause is coming to town and cuz my mommy and daddy love me and play with me and cuz my daddy is the coolest daddy in the world and cuz my grandmas love me and cuz I am really good at making long run on sentences and that I have not had to learn about those dumb things yet and cuz I get to go to Florida in a few weeks and cuz it snowed and I got to go play in it even though I got it on my face and it made me cry and I made a snow angel and my mommy has yummy milk for me to eat and I like green beans even though I make a really funny face every time I get the first bite of them and if you look deep in my eyes you will see my crazy daddy in there somewhere and hopefully that is tamed by me having some of my extremely tame mommy in me and I love to play with my little monkey and polar bear and drink beer with my daddy and see who can drink the most hot sauce in one sitting and see who can fart the loudest and of course my daddy beats me but not by much as I am a big boy now but I still poop my pants and hey did I say I had a cold and some really big old boogies coming out of my nose and that is why daddy calls me boogies I think but maybe it is just because it is a funny nick name and he says he wont call me that in front of my friends and he better not because I will cry and break his heart yeah and I will cry so hard it will make him cry to and that will be my revenge and then I will laugh at him and call him a wuss for crying and then he will feel stupid and that will be my second revenge and then I will always make sure I poop before daddy changes my diapers too as my third revenge but hopefully I will be out of diapers when I go to school and oh yeah I want to say hi to my uncle Demel who is silly too like my daddy but daddy says he is a wuss and couldnt beat up a mime even if the mime was tied gagged and unconsious but I dont know what all that means but my daddy says it anyway maybe to confuse me cuz uncle Demel is really cool and aunt Christa is pretty cool too and she and mommy are going to take care of me the whole time we are in Florida so daddy and uncle Demel can go do whatever they want which is really neat of them and I will cry if daddy and uncle Demel have to take care of me ever

love Ian

Armenian vs. Calvin

2006-12-05T08:27:00.000-08:00

Ok, I have avoided this, and it probably will not get too much of a response, but are you Armenian or Calvinist? Lets get to the real question though, do you believe that God creates people and predestines them to either heaven or hell, and that there is nothing a human can do to change this?

There are billions of arguments throughout history about this, and it is one of the more heated debates I have seen. Lets not get ugly here, but I just want to hear who believes what, and a little of why.

I personally am VERY Armenian. I cannot fathom how one could possibly believe that a God who defines himself as love could possibly create people with the sole purpose of sending them to hell for all eternity, and only granting a few (relatively) people the honor of spending eternity with him, and NOT because of anything they did, but simply because it suited him at the time of the decision. For me, this is utterly ridiculous to believe that, and even after arguing with Cavinists at fairly great length, just can't fathom how anyone can believe that given that the whole of the bible clearly contradicts this view. Of course they would say otherwise, but all the arguments I have heard are to me very illogical, require some major twisting of scripture, and if true would turn the bible and Christianity into a circus. My bible says "for God so loved the world that he gave his only son, so that who-so-ever believes in him shall not perish, but have eternal life". The Calvinist bible would read; "for God so loved only some people he created, that he sent his son to die for no reason at all, but instead just because it seemed like a pretty cool random thing to do at the time, and hey, God likes torturing people, so why not his son too! But really you are saved because I decided you where saved at the beginning of time, and the rest of you pukes, well, have fun burning in the lake of fire suckers!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!! I am so happy that I made you burn! It just gives me great pleasure to know you are suffering for eternity and could do nothing about it!"

Ok, I just made this heated, didn't I? Well, I suppose it was bound to get that way ;)

Ok, that is my very abbreviated view on that. What's yours?

A Thanks Giving Story

2006-12-02T19:43:00.000-08:00

Once up on a time, in a family far, far away....

"Yummy! I think I will eat your brain now."

"Ewwww, your brain tastes funny!"

"Uhhhhh..... ohhhh.... I... I ate too much brain... it's leaking out my nose. I feel woosy. Help... me...."

Jeff is now without a brain.

"uggg... uhhhhhh.... hehehehe.... uhhhh.... hehehehe"

"Ian, come on, you like brain, so I am pretty sure you will like pureed newt gizzard. Here, try it! You really need to quit eating peoples brains. Some of them need it."

"You ate my dad's brain. I am mad at you. Grrr. Now Sean Connery will smash you good."

"YOU did this! You taught this little guy to eat brains!"

"Lord, please heal Ian of his brain eating affliction."

"Mmmmm!!!! I smell brains!!!!"

"Ok... I will pretend I am happy. I will also pretend I like I like it when this kid eats my brain."

"Ok, lets play put your hand close to him, and pull it away before he bites it!"

"I didn't know brains looked like that. All pink and fuzzy. Ok, watching this is making me hungry."

"Yep. Me too. Pass the chex mix."

"Uhhh... will somebody please help me get my brains back in before Ian eats the rest?"

"Well, I am just going to just close my eyes and pretend this isn't happening."

"Brains!"

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

2006-11-21T07:41:00.000-08:00

Turkeys... a very odd looking bird uncooked. Cooked, well they look pretty nice. I especially like the skin right after it comes out of the oven, all hot and juicy. Personally I find the meat to be rather dry and hard to palette because, but the dark meat is pretty savory. That noise they make, that people have deemed to be saying "gooble gooble" for whatever reason, well, it isn't audible by the human mouth, and is just plain weird. Call it "yamakamayamakama" if you want, it is all the same jibba jabba.

Personally, I look forward to my mashed potatoes and my mother’s noodles more than anything. Yummmm... my sister makes a nice broccoli cheese casserole too, and sweet potatoes, cranberry stuff, and corn casserole are nice too.

The reality is; we should be having BEEF for TG. A nice succulent prime rib slowly cooked for hours, swimming in juice, making my mouth die of pleasure. But no! We have to eat TURKEY!!! What gives? It is Thanksgiving not Torturegiving!

We all must remember what we are Thankful for. Our family has a tradition of stating what we are thankful for before the meal (I will be lobbying for doing it AFTER the meal this year as my food will be getting cold!!!), and this year I am thankful in particular for my son Ian. I am also thankful for my wife, my parents, brother and sisters, and my in-laws. I am also thankful for my job, my home, and everyone's health. I am also thankful that Jesus died on the cross for my sins, as without this, everything else would be rather moot.

What I am not thankful for? Liberals, in particular Nancy Pelosi, Ted Kennedy, Hillary Clinton, and that mule John Kerry. I am also unthankful for raw onions, beets, coconut, and radishes.

Just a spoonful of fish sauce makes the medicine come up... the medicine come up... the medicine come up, oh a spoonful of fish sauce makes the medicine come up... in the most repulsive way!

Happy Thanksgiving from the Whites!

The Results of my Request

2006-11-17T12:00:00.000-08:00

Well, lets see... I got 6 comments. One from my mother telling me I am silly. One from my wife telling me that she doesn't stink (thankful there, as that would stink), one from Mike L who thinks I am crazy, and two from myself who also thinks I am crazy even though I am not.

What does this tell me? It tells me that it was all lies and fairytales that people check my blog. Woe is me. Not that the few people who check my blog aren't people, it is just that the hoard of peeps rumor to have made the daily pilgramage to view my humble rantings was greatly exaggerated.

On a heavier note... laaaaaa... I am working on a project at work for a company called Speakercraft, which is a fairly high-end home audio company. We are making their home audio network systems wireless, or really RF instead of infrared (which is way better, ask me later). Anyway, they sent me a nice multi-zone audio system worth probably 2500 bucks, which hopefullly I will get got keep when I am done with development.

On the home front, I continue to enjoy cuddling my little boy. He is such a sweet boy, and a wonderful addition to my life. We make each other laugh, and sometimes cry. He will cry if I burst out in cheer during a Packer game, and I will cry when he barfs on my face, or kicks my family jewels. He can also belch better than most humans, just like his old man! BEEEELLLLCCHH!!! Yummm... it is always fun to re-experience your lunch so says the cow. I am sure if I had four stomachs, I would probably eat Demel with some fatha beans and a nice chianti.

The work is getting done!

2006-11-06T11:13:00.000-08:00

As promised, I was chained to the foyer until it was done, or at least until the tile was layed.

The grouting will commense next week. Put the grout in is pretty easy, however then you have to clean it up off the tile tops, which is a major pain. It won't be too bad, but the cleaning means hands and knees for 4 hours straight. Ugh...

This is the foyer before. I have stripped all the woodwork for the job, and will put up all new working soon.

It only took me about 90 minutes to put all this down, and probably about 8.5 hours total of prep time for everything (5 of which were spent over many days). The hardest part was laying it all out and cutting the design to all fit perfectly. It worked out pretty nicely.

The end result (without grout) looks awesome really compared to the garbage look before, if I may say so myself.

We bought this house and well, lets say it was REALLY back-dated. Worn out shag carpet from the 70's, ugly paint everywhere styles from the 70's and 80's, ugly wall paper, ugly cheap original cabinets, tubs, toilets, doors, lights, and trimming. Pretty much everything but the finished shell needed replacing. Well, that was prime motivation for buying this house. A house that was finished like we would want would cost about 50% more. So, I made the decision to do the work myself, and do it like we wanted to. The end result will be very nice, and add that 50% value to the house, only costing us the parts and lots of elbow grease.

To date, we have:
1. painted the whole house inside (except the basement, which is soon), some rooms twice.
2. painted the exterior, which was a HUGE job, but it was pink and rust colored, and HAD to get done.
3. put down all new carpet, restored the oak flooring in the living room. It still needs refinished, but it is ok since it had been covered with lime green shag since the very early 70's. Shag makes nice wood floor protection. Just taking up the carpet probabaly added a couple K to the value of the house.
4. Installed all new doors, which look very nice, and save lots on the electric bill.
5. Installed over-head lighting in most rooms (need to do a few more, but it has been great functionally and asthetically).
6. Did some minor upgrades to the kitchen with new light fixtures, cabinet hardware, and installed a cheap but decent looking laminate floor tile over the old ugly stuff.
7. Since the deck that came with the house was rotted and ugly, we ripped it out and I put in a cement patio, which looks great. I also did a significant amount of landscaping to the back yard, and some to the front. The front is in need of an over-haul including a wall-way to the front door (right now it is just grass). The old landscaping was pretty much non-existant except some remenents of stone that has long settled into the ground. The grass looks good now too, coming from weed infested brown ugly to lush, green and weed-free.

The remaining list to do is pretty long, but includes:
1. Remodel bathroom: this is REALLY needed. We have "flesh" colored sink/tub/toilet... yikes. The shower tile leaks, and everything is just nasty really. We had fixed it up some to make it look ok, but it is time. This is next on the list as I have everything I need to get going on it. Will start in January.
2. Remodel bathroom 2: The back bath will be easier, but it is just as nasty.
3. Remodel kitchen: we have decide to tentatively go the budget route here. This will be me building new cabinet doors myself, and striping the old shells to refinish them. Then we will be redoing the tile back-spash, and building a tile countertop to replace the old. New sink, and probably new stove and refridgerator as budget permits. I will install a pergo wood finish floor as well. All new lighting through out.
4. Refinish build-in shelving.
5. Add crown molding to whole house. I plan on making this myself at this point.

There are several other projects discussed, but that takes me out about 4 years or so, and I don't want to sign up for too much :)

May I Bable at you for a while?

2006-11-03T12:27:00.000-08:00

Hello, I would like you to meet my bable fish. Thats with a "short a" like BABylon, NOT like BABE, or BABY for all you gits out there. You don't BABEl on about stuff, nor hear about the tower of BABEl.

Git, lets see, Tom Cruise is a Git! I hope his aliens come for him soon, cuz he is making our planet STINK! Hope they talk the rest of the looneyologists with them.

So, can I go on and talk about nothing? Nothing is actually something. Having nothing is something, cuz that something is nothing, but it is still something. Being nothing is something. Confused? Good. So talking about nothing is something, so it has meaning and context in this context, which is really nothing but something.

Reese Peanutbutter Cups ROCK. Yum, maow, chow, grub, smack, drool, growl.

What doesn't rock? Raw or lightly cooked onion, beets, coconut, and radishes.

What about swamp cabbage? En-Choy? Yeah baby! Good stuff.

Thai food is divine. I am starting a new hobby of cooking Thai food. I have lots of ingredients, and some really good recipes acquired through dangerous back-channels on the very black market. It is definitely an art form, and will take lots of practice, and lots of eating. I am a very big fan. Now that our eating out budget is about nothing, I need to bring the out in, and take the in out. If out is in and in is out, doesn't that make out out and in in? Wait, no it is the opposite. No, in is is, and out is out, so the... wait a minute...

I dare you to step across this line!

BRING ON THE FREEP!

Alright, cat. Take your package and scram.

What??!? No gravy? Next time, don't forget the gravy!

G U N P O W D E R... tobacco.

Belvadear... come here boy!

Pss, hey Guido, its all so clear to me now. I'm the keeper of the cheese and you're the lemon merchant, you get it? And he knows it. That's why he's gonna kill us. So we got to beat it, ya, before he let's loose the marmosets on us. Don't worry little missy, I'll save you.

Oh, my beloved ice-cream bar. How I love to lick your creamy center.
[Ren eats bar of soap]
And your oh, so nutty chocolate covering. You're not like the others. You like the same things I do: Wax paper. Boiled football leather. Dog breath. We're not hitchhiking anymore. We're riding!

The Jalapeno Forest

2006-10-30T08:07:00.000-08:00

A forest of wild jalapeno peppers has grown in the middle of my towel. I really can't explain how this happened, but I am suspecting alien activity. My current theory is that a saucer visited earth to steal some jalapenos, and during transport, the beam was cut off mid-stream, and they appeared on my towel.

Meanwhile, back at the hall of justice, Batman is continuing to procrasinate on getting the foyer tiling done. Woe is me. Wonder-Woman is planning on chaining me to it Saturday, but I keep wondering how I will get to the garage for supplies. I guess she will have to do that for me. What do I do if I have to poop? Use a bucket? I guess she can run it to the toilet for me. I guess I could always get the Wonder-Twins to help me: Wonder-Twin powers... activate... form of, a toilet... form of, toilet water.

My Daddy Says I'm Cool...

2006-10-24T12:21:00.000-07:00

I pity the fool that mess with me! Shut-up with all that Jibba-Jabba!

Are you talkin to me? Are you talkin to me?!?

...theres shrimp brain gumbo, shrimp head stew, shrimp tail surprise, shrimp cereal, shrimp juice...

Where in the world are we headed???

2006-10-24T09:44:00.000-07:00

I just read this article:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20061024/ts_nm/environment_wwf_planet_dc

It is a bit scary isn't it? I see one of three things happening. Christ returns, or we learn to adapt to a much less lavish life-style since resources will be very expensive, or we will adapt and find new and amazing ways to produce food and energy. It just shows just how incredibly wasteful we as Americans, and those trying to imitate us are. There is a gazillion stories out there warning us of all this, and we as humans will always make the mistake of ignoring the warnings until it is too late. I fear with how much we have damaged God's planet that it is irrepairable. If I was a betting man, I would put my money on number 1, however that bet would be moot.

What in the world is a Blog for??!?!?!

2006-10-23T13:36:00.000-07:00

Well, I have figured out what a Blog is for (duh). It is for updating everyone who knows you in one place, at one time, and keeping it around as a running record of such things. As my mom said, she is "learning things about me she didn't know" or something like that. Well, yeah, I suppose there are several factors there, mainly email takes a while to get everything out. Second, when you are writting it, you really don't have a thought-out plan for constructing an individual email to a specific person at the time you are writting it, and if you had to tell everyone everything that you could tell them, you would be writing all the time.

With that said, what is the point of this post? Hmmmm.... I haven't thought about it much ;) What was I talking about?

Oh, I know! Ok, with that said, I have a few people ask me what is going on in my life, but I rarely say much about it. Well, the truth is that there really isn't much to say, plus do you really want to hear me ramble on about my boring life? Well, that is the other purpose for a blog, to allow you the choice of whether you want to be bored or not. So, I will try and put something a little more interesting up hear, and if it isn't interesting, I will do my best to make it interesting.

Ok, I just want to say a few things that bug me:
1. When people say "irregardless". That is NOT a word. It is just "regardless", no "irr".
2. When people say "heigth". Heighth is not a word, never has been a word, and never will be a word. What you mean is "height", no "TH" at the end, just a T and a T sound. It is not "length, width, and heigth", it is "length, width, and heighT"
3. When people say "Expresso". It is "ESSpress" with an S, not an X. I am sure some goofy company somewhere sells "Expresso", but it is probably mud-water, not a small, strong, pressure brewed cup of coffee most often made with strong/dark roasted beans.
4. When people say "whether or not yada yada". Proper English is "whether yada yada or not".
5. Sloppy wet oral noises, most often associated with eating (unfortunately that means everyone bugs me, and I bug myself too), talking (which is only a few people, and often associated with dry mouth, or nervousness), and occassionally just sitting there doing nothing, which frankly is the worst kind, and in one case, the process of itching ones throat (which gives me hives). If you are just sitting there, and a cacophany of smackly wet noises are eminating from your facial orafice, you really need to quit that. The only excuss you have is if you are over 80, have false teeth, parkinsons disease or some other neurological disorder, or just simply like to annoy me, in which case I will just leave (which may be exactly what you wanted, so we are both happy).

Ok, now you know more about me. I am glad you do as I have been itching to tell everyone that for years. Please adjust your behavior accordingly. Please note that anyone violating my annoyances deliberately will be subject to a severe thrashing with a wet spaghetti noodle.

Jalapenos & Band-aids (tm) are my life

2006-10-19T08:06:00.000-07:00

Today, I am a walking band-aid (tm) advertisement. I change it about 3 times a day. I have used more band-aids (tm) in the last week than I have used in the last 20 years or more. The good news is that my finger is healing nicely, and should be usable in another day or two. The wound was deep, so it is going to be a while before it has returned to normal. What fun!

This weekend I will make Jalapenos wapped in bacon. I pulled about 100 of them from my garden before the freeze, and I will make a batch of 50 or so and freeze them. I will also make some without bacon for poppers. Here is the recipe:

Cut top of Jalap, hollow out with handle of a spoon to get out the white crap and seeds. Wear gloves. If you think you won't like the heat, blanch Jalaps in boiling water for 45 secs or so. That will take the heat down a few notches, and make sure you get all the inner white fleshy stuff out.

Mix crumbled breakfast sausage, shreaded cheedar, and cream cheese in a bowl. I use about 75% cream, 25 ched or so, and sausage to taste. Sometimes I add mexican spices, but not often, and NOT much. For a better flavor, use Chorizo sausage (you need a specific kind, the kind that fries up nicely, NOT the kind that are links). Stuff the jalaps with the goo. It takes a technique to get them filled, so figure it out. It is best to get all the air out.

PreHeat oven to 475.

Warm bacon in micro wave, but DO NOT crisp it. Wrap 1 slice of bacon around the jalap starting with covering the top, then wrapping to keep the top from leaking.

Cook 12-15 minutes, checking regularly. Cook until bacon is crispy (if that takes 20 mins, then cook 20 mins). It can get smokey, so vent if it does. You can cook at <450 to avoid smoke, but it is harder to crisp up the bacon without doing it so long the goo leaks all out. The goo burns on the bottom, but I like it that way!

EAT!

Finger Chips...

2006-10-16T14:23:00.000-07:00

As some of you know, I have been saying "Soon here, I am going to make homemade potato chips", and well, I've been saying that for about three years. Well, Saturday was the day!

As you can see, there really is sliced potatoes in a deep fryer... so, all you fun makers out there can just zip it! And while you are at it, some of you can lock that yap, and throw away the key cuz I'm sick of ya'll flapin that old yap! Oh... sorry. I got a little distracted there. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!

They turned out beautifully, and of course, I am quite impressed with the texture, flavor, thinkness, and look of these beautiful babies. AB would be proud!

Along with them, I made an extremely tasty cheese dip with cheedar, jalapenos and bacon. Unfortunately the texture of the dip was a bit grainy. I haven't had a whole lotta luck with cheese dips in this respect, but it was tasty, and that was ok by me.

Then tragedy struck. Yes, yes, yes... I know, doesn't it just figure? Ya run out of potatoes, so you improvise. I decided to use fingers. Yep, while using the nice little pampers chef (tm) slicer thingy, I got a little too agressive before using the little handle thinging, and zip, the tip of my finger came off. A bloody mess followed with me frantically asking for a band-aid (tm) and Katrina scrambling to get one. Meanwhile, I soaked up several paper towels, turned to washing it down the drain, and getting a little light headed watching the red water roll around the sink, while screaming "tis but a flesh wound!" (tm). The first band-aid (tm) resulted in no results, and had to be replaced, twice before I was able to continue my mad chip-chefing. I nearly resorted to using femine products to help wick the blood away.

So, I am not sure which chip it was, but it must have tasted just like potatoes. So, now if anyone asks you what people taste like, you just tell them, "well, if you deep fry them, they taste like potatos", but don't quote me on that. Dentists taste a little more like chicken. Funny how that works.

So, fast-forward 2 days, and I still have a pretty nasty flesh wound. The inside kind reminds me of what exposed live brain looks like, and it doesn't feel too good either. Unfortunately I am experiencing a minor version of what it is like to not have the use of an opposing thumb. Not an experience that I would have choosen. I am not sure how long it will take to scab over, but I may be avoiding some tasks for a while (sorry hun, no shoulder massages for a while), including the bathroom. Lets hope that bathroom doesn't become a joke like the chips.

Words...

2006-10-12T12:48:00.000-07:00

Here, have some words, I don't need them anyway...

I don't normally post on blogs, but you already realized that. So, I am just trying to be consistent! I don't have much to say really, but of course I can always invent something. Lets see, oh yeah, the Colts are winning, but they are having close games against stinky teams. Unless they get down to business, this will be another no superbowl year. I am thinking that the Bears are the toughest team out there, and are looking as the favorite. The Packers stink again. I can smell them from here... , yep that is really stinkin stinky. I am starting to thing that I should chear for teams I hate, and maybe they will loose. Purdue is having an expectedly poor year, but I still have hopes for a decent bowl game as I feel they can win at least 3 more games, but defense wins games, and well, what defense? It can only get better.

As far as me goes, well I lead a boring life. I almost got a new laptop for work, but alas we fixed this one and I am stuck with it for another year (sigh). Work is ok. I often look to greener pastures in my mind, but reality says it is pretty green here. I try to appreciate what I have. We had snow on the ground today, not much, but a dusting in October is early. I am missing summer already as it seems it has gone from warm to cold, and nothing in between. I am hoping for some more fall like weather before the snow flies and stays.

I won the lottery... yep, I put a buck in a pool, and won a buck. It was a pool of 1, so it was a good bet. I am not looking forward to not paying taxes on my not winnings.

My cute little boy is doing great. Check Katrina's log for updates.

e

Absent in many ways...

2006-10-02T15:45:00.000-07:00

Absent in blogging, absent minded, and absent from work for a few days due to back problems. I think I had a pinched nerve due to lower back issues. I was able to work at home for a few days, and the doc gave me some nice drugs to help deal with it. I am much better now.

That means that home improvement projects are on hold. Bummer. I just want to get done with the few things we have in progress this winter, which gives me a significant chunk of time. The only problem is once I start the bathroom, we won't be able to use it for quite a while, which is going to cause us to be inconvenienced!

The fall colors are almost maxed out here. We are planning our yearly excursion to Kettle-Morane state park next weekend to view the colors and take pictures. It is always a great place to see them.

Our little "Boogs" is doing very well. We are teaching him calculus now, and will be working on differential equations soon. He is having a little bit of a hard time with some things, but he will get it eventually.

The Packers play the Eagles tonight on Monday night football. I fear the Pack is going to get slaughered. Of course I am routing for the Colts as always, and I have taken up cheering the Saints on this year. It is always fun to watch Drew Brees and Reggie Bush. I am hoping they make post season play.

...

A normal post? Wow...

2006-09-11T09:50:00.000-07:00

Today I am a normal guy posting on "whatsup" in my world...

I have been sick all week (last week) and feel pretty normal again now aside from being tired. We are preparing to retile the foyer and completely remodel the main bathroom. I will do the Foyer this week and next weekend, and probably get started on the bathroom in 2 weeks. We ordered a tub last weekend, and really need that to get started. We found great deals on everything at Menards. We bought our new counter at home depot, which was a returned item and got it for about 75% off or so. The same for the top, which is a pretty nice synth top with a built in sink. We just need to get a toilet. I am tiling the floor and tub myself, which will be the biggest effort. I will be putting new drywall up as well, which will also be one of the harder jobs of course. In all, I expect it to take about 8-10 weekends to complete, but we are hoping for faster if things go well (do they ever?). Everything is getting replaced, switches, lights, doors, the window, the woodwork, toilet, everything. We have been bargain shopping for supplys for a while now, and finally have just about everything to get going. So, for relatively little, it should be a very big payoff in home value.

Next will be the little bathroom (maybe next year), followed by a make-over of the kitchen. That will entail a tiled countertop (good looks for low cost), new homemade doors for the cabinets (yeah, that will be hard), synth-wood floor (cheap, but pretty), new tile back-splash, new wood-work. and new lighting in the kitchen area. This will be hard (especially the cabinets) but worth the while.

e

Genetic Scientist

2006-09-01T07:23:00.000-07:00

Today I'm a genetisist, and as you can see, a genetisist makes monsters that look at bit like me...

My name is Yak Slackoff, the famous Russian Genetic Scientist. I have created Bubba the Felipengy as my pet. Isn't he cute? We had had a hard time with keeping his teeth clean as his diet is consting mostly of Dentist Meat lately, and as we all know, that takes a toll on teeth! He also has very bad breath, which doesn't make for a very good table manors. Frankly, just the fact that he doesn't like to close his mouth makes for a very uncomforable couch mate. I think he is all mouth and stomach. When he screams, it is quite primal, and really just plain scares the poop out of people... literally. He seems to think it is pretty funny to watch people soil themselves.

Anyway, be nice, or I will sick Bubba on you!

-Yak

Architect

2006-08-31T08:21:00.000-07:00

Today I'm an architect, and as you can see, an architect designs buildings as big as can be...

My name is Gaudi, and I designed this building about 90 years ago, and they have been building it in Barcelona Spain ever since, and won't be done with it until about 2080. I call it the Sagrada Familia. This is a model of the finished product. I believe it is the most amazing building ever designed, and of course I am rather proud of it! Of course I am dead now, and many in 2006 will be dead when it is done too. Lets call it a wonder of the modern world. So you funky Morman joe-blows can shut up about your cutsy little tabernacle in the desert.

A Second Post??? I think not...

2006-08-29T15:28:00.000-07:00

Today I am a painter, and my paints are dry. My brush has lost all of its bristles, and my canvas is soaked in olive oil. So, being broke, and hungry I will find another profession.

My fun link for the day is:

http://www.evilmadscientist.com/article.php/HomopolarMotor?msg=62

which is how to make the most simple of motors. We tried it here at work, and it was fun.

My garden has produced a gazillion (I counted them!) tomatoes this year and the biggest one is about the size of a small cantelope (or baby antelope, pick your preference).

Millions of peaches, peaches for me.... Michigan peaches are in, for about 2 weeks tops. They are SO GOOD! We (Katrina and Katrina) made a peach cobbler last night, which rocked.

The question of the day is, "What do Dentists Taste Like"???

Well, I will tell you. Some would say they taste like chicken. Others say they taste more like beef. I feel they have a slight hint of plaque, with a strong after taste of tooth dust and tooth decay. They go very well as kabobs maranated in hygenist pudding, and a nice side dish of hasty-rude receptionist. Some eat their livers with a side of fatha beans and a nice chianti, but I prefer them sliced on sourdough bread with tomatoes.

A first post???

2006-08-21T11:30:00.000-07:00

I think not...

Posting? I am no poster boy!

Today I am a farmer, and I must say that I have sprayed round-up on all my hay. So, I will go backrupt and find another profession. Anyone want to buy a little-used tractor?

My newest thing is www.pandora.com, which is an exporative internet radio site that you basically setup radio stations by entering in some mustic that you like, then it will start to play that stuff, and stuff like it, then you can say if you like it or not, and will slowly taylor what it plays to exactly what you want to hear based on your tastes. It is a perfect way to find new music, plus I can listen at work. Oh, and it is totally free!

Besides taking care of Ian, Katrina has been "letting me" play Heroes of Might and Magic V in the evenings before bed.